First Love

how could I have known, how could I have seen,
just how much this love would truly mean.
I haven't held you close, not since I went away,
yet my love for you grows stronger every day,
Should I ever make it Home, my love will be so strong,
no words could explain it, but I know it'll last long.
so for now while we're apart,
this poem I send to you,
it was written from the heart,
for my love oh so true
My Vow

Dearest ones whom I love so
forgive me now, it's time to go
God is calling after all these years
he has ended the pain, he has dried my tears
I'm lighter now than ever before
and I'll be white forevermore
but don't you worry, don't you cry
I'll keep watching with at least one eye
and when I do get the chance
to take more than just a glance
I'll be right there by your side,
even though I can't be spied
and if I've made it to your heart
I vow that I'll never depart
The Deamons Inside Me

I hear the Devil talking every time I close my eyes
but all I hear him saying is dirty old lies
He says I'll have salvation, he says that I'll be free
all i have to do is just end this misery
A bullet through the brain, a stomach full of pills.
It doesn't even matter, just as long as it kills.
still that voice keeps calling, it's getting harder to resist
Now I start to wonder "just how much would i be missed

It seems no matter what I do
I'll never be good enough for you
yet I keep trying again and again
hoping someday that I'll win,
your heart like you took mine
and we'd be together for all time
but I'm just foolish, I'm insane
I just want to end this pain.
I've got nowhere to go, I've got nothing to do
I lost it all when i lost you
I see my body falling, thrown in a hole
I just keep on dropping further dowm below
suicides don't go to heaven
So that just means that I'll see Devin.
What I know

Lonliness and pain are what I know
So don't be surprised by what I've wrote
I write what I know, I write what I feel
I write from a heart that can't be healed
I'll always love, I'll occasionaly lust
But my biggest problem is I can't trust
Anyone I've met with the things I know
Which makes me always hit the new low
To be with you.

Was it love or was it lust?
In the end it's my heart I trust.
I loved you then,
and I will until the end.
I lost you once, and never again
do I want to feel that pain
You broke my heart,
you changed my mind.
You treated me as if I was blind.
maybe I was, but it's still not right,
to be with a different guy every night
you were my first, true.
But it was because I only wanted to be with you.

Where were we I forgot,
now you're here but I am not
when I get back you'll be gone.
Just as sure as a country song
I know all the words
you've flown like birds
every time that I got near
and you started calling me dear.

Goodbye world I now must go.
I just thought I'd let you know.
I once had lived and now must die,
blame me not for I speak no lie.
I saw beauty and I knew love.
Now I must watch from above.
She was nice and she was fine.
I wished that god would make her mine,
but now I'm gone and she's still here.
I only wish she knew how dear
she was to me in my life.
I wish I could have had a good wife,
but I'll die young and with noone
more likely than not shot with a gun.
I was born and had lived,
and now am happy to know I must give,
my life for my country
and my soul for my land
So that I know we'll stay free.
Until the world joins hands
in the preservation of a better union
in which we all will need no guns.
now I must go for this is the end
say goodbye to my family and friends
for me.
A Memory.

There I was early in the morning.
When I heard from her without any warning.
She only gave me one clue and I knew who it was.
How could I forget my one and only love.
Six years have passed since I last heard from her.
Not a day has gone by she hasn't been on my mind.
I spent my time trying to find
a girl like her to fill my life
to be the girl I'd make my wife.
When Will We Be Free?

The clouds above, the earth below,
To which of these will I go
when I leave this purgatory
in which there is no glory.
There is pride, and there is pain
but form all this what shall I gain?
I've known love and I've known lust.
I've known fear, and I've known Trust.
If we're the future, who are we?
Does the world really change, or is it just me?
Are we all of the same consciousness?
We can't be sure, we only can guess.
It's up to you, it's up to me
when our minds will be free.
Three Small Words.

How can it be that on a day such as this
that long time friends are ended with a kiss.
Forces greater than we know
play with our minds like a picture show.
Though a heart is an organ, it still can be broken
right after the fateful words are spoken.
I Love You, words of power, words of pain,
words that are often spoken in vain.
Three small words that can save a life,
when taken away it cuts like a knife.
Mistaked will be made and lessons learned,
but there's always pain when we get burned.

A smile, a laugh, a face so sweet,
never again shall I meet
one so pure and so true,
because I found it all in you.
Yopu stole my heart,
you won the prize.
I looked at you and blinked my eyes.
I couldn't believe what i saw,
An angel standing before me.

So empty, yet so alone.
Welcome now to my home.
Where I am me and nothing less.
Knowing my friends are all blessed,
For I love them all sweet and true,
especially when they're feeling blue,
but one I know stands by herself
and tries to keep her feelings on a shelf.
I love her the most and tell her it's so
I feel at times she doubts me, but I must have her know
how true it is and help her let go
of the apathy brewed within
so that she may understand Love again.

Death is the only absolute.
How do we know what is the truth?
What is real and what is fake?
What if the ocean is air and the sky lake?
What do you know, who do you trust?
Is love real and what is lust?
What is crazy, who defines sane?
What is joy and what is pain?
Is there heaven, is there hell?
what is sick, what is well?
Who chooses good and who chooses bad?
What defines happy and when we are sad?
Who must live, who must die?
Who will smile, Who will cry?
Read this...

Where did I come from?
Where can I go?
I've just lost my mind, so I'll never know.
People change so quickly, life moves so fast,
but I'll never change, I'll always come in last.
Why do I bother, why did I try?
Every other time it happened it always made me cry.
All that's behind me, lost in the years.
There won't be more memories or any more tears.
I don't know how it happened or why it all went wrong.
What I don know is that it didn't take very long.
I could never forgive myself so I hope that you can,
Accept my apology for never becomming a man.
I lived in the past and never found now,
So I'll have to regret forever, never learning how.
You've heard it before and you'll hear it again
In this life no one can ever win.
If my life meant anythingI know not what it was.
So someone read this at my funeral if I was ever loved.
Which One?

What is a lie, what is the truth?
Who do I love You or You?
Both are beautiful and yet so sweet,
against other girls any contest they would win
But when they're against each other
I can't decide, The verdicts won't come in.
I can't make up my mind, her or her.
One it's the hair, the other the eyes
They both have nice legs, and bodies to boot.
To say I don't love them I'd be telling lies.
One or the other I don't give a hoot.
As long as they love me as much as I do.
we wish with our hearts and dream with our souls
the fire inside will never burn down to coals.
Life Goes On.

True beauty lies within.
To love another is not a sin.
I loved her, and she loved me,
but I know her heart is free.
Free from pain, free from lies,
but that's what happens when one dies.
She'll go on, I will not,
For now I lay in my earthly plot.
She'll still love
and she'll still live.
To My Friends.

We all have our issues, good and bad.
We all have our days, happy and sad.
On those days you are down and blue.
Just remember I'll stand by you.
I'll listen to your issues and comfort your fears,
and when you cry I'll wipe away your tears.
Time Is Short.

Walk with me through the night
then you'll see loves true light.
Smile that smile that's only mine.
Follow your heart in a straight line.
The light in your eyes, the beat of your heart
Just a coulpe of reasons I never want to part.
Your head on my shoulder, my arm around your waist
we have no reason to make haste.
Though time is short here on earth,
we'll be back together on the highest berth.
Heaven awaits our love.

I am free and in all my life
I have dated few and not found a good wife.
I have loved sports and played them hard.
I have ridden horses and mowed my yard.
For me the city is too tame
It's just street after street, lane after lane.
I belong in the country.
It's the only place I feel truly free.
I work on a ranch,
whenever I get the chance.
I have been called crazy, I have been called a nut
but with a large John Deere grass is fun to cut.
Put me on a farm and I'll work all day
From the time the sun comes up until the sky turns gray.
That is the life I have chosen for me.
That is the only time I am free.